Sunday, 24 February 2013

Spartacus War of the Damned: Wolves at the Gate

Episode 2 of Season 3 of Spartacus brings us what will presumably be the series' last major character introduction, unless they actually show Pompey later - Gaius Julius Caesar himself. With surfer hair and a goatee.

Flash Harry is called away from sparring with Naevia (who soundly beats him) because Spartacus wants to know how he can conquer Flash's home city. Flash looks slightly uncomfortable with the idea of ransacking a town that was his home and that presumably contains a number of people he's quite fond of, but he helps anyway. They keep going on and on about how winter is coming as if they’ve all been adopted by Starks, and yet still, none of them are dressed properly. Seriously, Helga is in a bikini. Italy in autumn is just not that warm.

Spartacus and Gannicus head off to the city, as Gannicus knows a Trojan Horse who might be persuaded to let them in the gates at night, since they aren't allowed to enter with weapons. Crixus comes too, presumably because he's bored and fancies a day out. Spartacus is wearing clothes! Actual, Eastern-style clothes! In fact, he's wearing a purple cloak, the sign of royalty and kingship. Ah, hubris, followed by inevitable doom. The same thing would eventually happen to Caesar. Crixus is dressed too, and even Gannicus, though he's wearing a sleeveless tunic, just to make the point that he still doesn't need clothes, and to show off his rippling muscles.

We meet the soft-hearted wife of a guy who seems to hold a lot of sway in the city, Ennius. The next few minutes are designed to show us how unpleasant he is, and how nice she is (she's a fan of the 'treat animals and slaves well and they'll work well' philosophy). We see a supporter of Spartacus (who, much to Spartacus' discomfort, keeps yelling his name) get his tongue ripped out, then be stoned to death, which Spartacus puts an end to pretty quickly by throwing a biggish rock right at the guy's head. Stoning is a new form of death for Spartacus - we hear of it a lot in New Testament stories from the Roman Middle East, less so from Italy, where runaway slaves are more often threatened with crucifixion.

The biggest problem with this series is that I'm enjoying Crassus and the actual Romans so much, I get impatient when faced with long scenes devoted to the increasingly dim-witted and emotionally numb Spartacus. But at this point, Yay! Romans. Tiberius is still useless, now sowing his inability to haggkles out a good price when shopping for swords.

Aaand... we meet Point-Break-Patrick-Swayze-Julius-Caesar! (Thanks to Hasan Niyazi from Three Pipe Problem for pointing out the resemblance). I think for brevity’s sake I’ll call him Surfer Caesar. He gets into a fight with a couple of Crassus' slaves before being introduced by name with a teeny little rock-guitar solo of sorts. Crassus' wife doesn't like him, but that's just a point in his favour. Caesar expresses affection for his own wife, but that could just be horniness.

This headstrong 20-something will eventually take over the world

Caesar here is a rebellious thug with a '90s haircut. It’s perfect. It’s also kinda funny given that he’s famous for going bald early. It’s a very different portrayal of the dictator and evil genius in youth than Rome’s Octavian, but that’s because Julius and Octavian Caesar were very different characters. Although Caesar was a brilliant general, the flaws in his politics eventually led to his assassination, whereas Octavian, barely a general at all in practical terms, ruled the world for half a century. Young Caesar as brutal, headstrong and pugilistic is perfect. Crassus introduces us to Caesar’s history and supposed legendary ancestry and sets out the basis of their alliance – Crassus’ wealth and Caesar’s name, together unstoppable. Killing Spartacus is where they'll start.

Spartacus chats with the dude’s wife about slaves, stoning, trade and whether there’s room for a bunch of his slaves within the city. It's pretty dull.

Surfer Caesar is being bathed by topless women, because we don’t get scenes in the arena any more so we have to some boobs out somewhere (unlike the over-excited spectators at the arena of earlier seasons, this is at least historically plausible). Crassus has, for reasons passing understanding, demanded that Caesar keep his ridiculously unhistorical goatee, presumably because the director has had a word about his desire to make Caesar resemble a model from Fat Face’s catalogue. Crassus' slave girl for some reason thinks that pointing out that Caesar is married will make the slightest different to whether or not he wants a shag with her, but Crassus is distinctly unimpressed when he walks in on them, partly because she’s a favourite of his and partly because, unlike Batiatus, he knows the difference between a household and a brothel.

Crassus’ deeply unpleasant wife yells at the slave girl – whose name, it seems, is Kore, which refers to a maiden and I suspect is Symbolic, so I’ll call her Maid Marian – for looking too attractive and showing off her boobs and her backside, which is nonsensical, given that as the lady of the house, she herself is in charge of clothing her slaves. When Maid Marian tells Tiberius, he gets really mad, because this woman is clearly Spartacus’ equivalent of Sookie Stackhouse, beloved of every male in the vicinity.

Spartacus encounters a cute little girl and starts to wonder about the ethics of storming cities. But then Laurus shows up to be unpleasant and reinvigorates him. Their Trojan Horse has worked out what Spartacus and Gannicus are up to and is browbeaten into helping them.

Crassus’ wife wants to come with him on campaign, which isn’t an idea Crassus is wild about, probably because she’s a gigantic pain in the bottom. (Some wives did follow their general husbands on campaign, including Germanicus’ wife, Caligula’s mother, who brought the children – which is how Caligula, growing up with the army, got the nickname, which means ‘Little Boot’). Tiberius is sulking because he thinks Crassus prefers Caesar to him. Crassus really needs to explain political alliances to that boy.

Crassus apologises to Maid Marian for leaving her with Surfer Caesar, since he already knew Caesar’s reputation. Maid Marian nags him about putting Caesar above Tiberius, but cheers up when Crassus assures her that he’s not letting his wife come with him, but he will take her. His extreme fondness for her even results in him asking her to call him ‘Marcus’. They get as far as stripping her top and snogging and then the camera cuts away – did I accidentally turn on the wrong show? Where’s the sex scene?!

Spartacus’ Trojan Horse lets them in to the city and blood and throwing torches in people’s faces commences. Also some stabbing people in the groin. This goes on for a while.

Symbolic purple cloak. Aah, sweet hubris.

Flash Harry is stabbed by his master, who gets his head sliced in half by Gannicus, which earns Gannicus the immediate and everlasting love of one of the guy’s slaves, expressed through a particularly longing look. Naevia comforts the dying Flash Harry, who promises to piss upon his master’s shadow (excellent last words there).

Surfer Caesar is getting some downstairs service from a random woman (this appears to involve a knife and some bleeding – is he a vampire? Is she a vampire?) and carries on a bit of a chat with Tiberius at the same time, though he is eventually forced to conclude that Tiberius is killing the mood and get rid of the woman.

Spartacus, having run into the soft-hearted wife of the other guy - the one that wasn't Flash Harry's master and hasn't just become shorter by half a head - takes her back to her house, where everyone appears to have been killed, including the cute little girl from earlier. Despite the fact this has been his M.O. for two years, Spartacus has a sudden attack of conscience and orders the not-dead-yet Romans to be put in chains instead of killed. Apparently the dude the soft-hearted woman is married to is threatening to set the grain on fire, which everyone needs, so Spartacus blackmails her into coming with him to stop the man. Midway through her passionate plea, Crixus and Gannicus jump down from above and kill the guy, at which point Spartacus announces a ceasefire and has the wife put in chains.

Crassus gives Tiberius a sword (this appears to be Symbolic – like a carving knife?) and sends him off to find out where Spartacus is, but orders him not to engage anyone until he turns up to back him up. I can see that going well. Surfer Caesar is unimpressed at being placed below the pipsqueak, but mollified by the promise of Crassus’ bribery getting him a position as military tribune.

Then they go out to address a whole CGI army! The music goes all imperial-Rome and we end on Crassus’ satisfied face.

A bit of a slow episode, but the introduction of Caesar just about keeps things interesting. More and more, the series is driving us towards sympathy for the Romans, and away from sympathising with Spartacus, whose ‘animals’ are behaving no better than the Romans they’re fighting. And now, having put all the living prisoners in chains, Spartacus is coming close to having slaves of his own. Meanwhile, they’re certainly working to make sure Crassus is the most likeable character, not just in this season, but probably in the whole series so far. He has romantic relationships (OK, not with his wife, but that’s not the point), he uses his brain before any other organ, he loves his son even though he can see what an annoying little pipsqueak the kid is and, of course, he’s the last word in Roman capitalism. Crassus is far closer to the assumed ideals of the audience than Spartacus and even his attitude towards his slaves is respectful.

Caesar, meanwhile, is just fun, which is great. Most films and TV shows dealing with Caesar show us a much older Caesar, already one of the two most powerful men in Rome, often even jumping past Pompey and going straight to his dictatorship. This, on the other hand is young Caesar - the Caesar who was rumoured to have been the catamite of King Nicomedes, who was kidnapped by pirates, made them love him, then had them all executed, who was an infamous womanizer, who ran away and defied the dictator Sulla rather than divorce his wife. Caesar wasn't, as far as we know, involved in putting down Spartacus' revolt, but otherwise his alliance with Crassus is accurately represented - Crassus bribed enough people for Caesar to win elections, Caesar's high social standing and Julian name got them both taken seriously (also Caesar's military expertise, but we haven't got that far yet). It seems plausible enough to me to insert Caesar into the story here, and Pompey is off in Spain and his rivalry with Crassus is not being covered (yet), so we need Caesar to give Crassus someone serious to bounce off, besides his whiny son, irritating wife and slightly cloying slave girl.

A bit slow, but still promising. Roll on episode 3...


Spartacus' trademark use of abbreviated English to represent Latin is still going strong - they've almost forgotten what the definite article ('the') is by this point. It's a good thing no one in this series is supposed to be speaking Greek, as Greek speakers were quite keen on the definite article...

Caesar: I require no lesson in my fucking heritage! He doesn’t appreciate the use of the As You Know... trope.

Ennius: I would not see more blood spilled absent cause.
Spartacus: Nor I... absent cause.

Tiberius: I am proud reflection of my father! Caesar laughs

Laeta: You - you aid Spartacus!
Spartacus: No - I stand the man himself. That’s no fun! You’re supposed to say ‘I’m Spartacus!’

Crassus to Caesar: Stay upon path I have set and see greater glories bestowed at journey’s end. Oh, how very true...

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Spartacus War of the Damned: Enemies of Rome

Blood. Brains. Dead horses. Spartacus is back.*

You can tell this season is going to be different straight away, as we open on actual Eagle-bearing Roman soldiers, who shift into turtle formation as Spartacus the one man army rides towards them. The opening fight scene between our favourite ex-gladiators and the Roman army contains more ‘traditional’ screen Roman imagery in its five minutes than the whole of the first two seasons as we see Roman soldiers cut up in all sorts of interesting ways, their Eagle used as a weapon by Spartacus so it ends the scene covered in Symbolic blood. This is still Spartacus though; Spartacus uses this symbol of Roman power to smash people’s faces in.

Spartacus’ army includes happy couples Number One and The Artist, and Crixus and Naevia, plus the blonde German woman. First nudity of the season, though, belongs to two random blood-drenched Romans, who catch us up on Spartacus’ activities over the last couple of years while being bathed by naked women. Why are they naked? Something to look at I suppose. (It’s quite likely that this random pair are ‘real’ generals who fought Spartacus, in name at least, but honestly, they’re not important enough to go and look up, they’re not going to last the episode). They’re discussing strategy with an actual toga-ed Roman, and they realise that they need more money, something ‘one among us’ can provide – huzzah! Crassus! We’re getting to the good stuff now, starting to meet actual famous Romans.

Number One and Crixus report to Spartacus while Gannicus is enjoying himself. Our guys have been on the run for a couple of years and have gathered such a huge following that they’re dragging  a small town around with them, but somehow, Crixus still hasn’t managed to find himself any clothes.

Finally, we introduced to Crassus himself, in a villa substantially fancier and less grimy-looking than any we’ve seen yet. He’s training with an ex-gladiator slave (both shirtless, of course) who accidentally injures him, which Crassus reassures him isn’t a problem, as it’s his own fault for not fighting well enough. Crassus uses two swords, because why bother fighting with sword and rectangular shield like an actual Roman soldier when you can look cool with two swords and pretend to be a gladiator? They’re watched by his slimy son Tiberius, who doesn’t see the value of learning to fight because it involves too much grunting (good thing he’s several centuries too early to watch women’s tennis). As everyone else in the scene expresses contempt of Crassus for learning from a slave, we can see that Crassus is something different because, unlike the rest, he won’t underestimate anyone for being a slave or a gladiator.

Crassus offers to send his own messengers to tell the other random two Romans that he’ll come and help them. He sends the nervous emissary off, but not before we get a mention of Pompey and his desire for titles – Crassus insists he only wants titles and honours properly earned. The mention of Pompey is interesting – I would have thought the tussle for glory after Crassus defeated Spartacus and Pompey finished off the remnants of Spartacus’ army would be too much detail after the main event is over for the series, but perhaps they are planning on referencing it. Either way, the hint of it is nice.

Back at Spartacus’ camp, Gannicus is drinking and swapping war stories with some random people, and the German blonde appears looking for wine and bringing some friends for a quick low-budget orgy. Gannicus shoos away the other two men (‘It’s my f*cking tent! protests one) and gets down to business with three attractive ladies including the German, who tells him Spartacus is still looking for him, though neither of them let that slow them down. The German is speaking English/Latin with a heavy German accent extremely reminiscent of ‘Allo ‘Allo, so I shall name her Helga.


Number One and the Artist are also having rather more romantic, monogamous sex while they discuss killing Romans. Gannicus eventually shows up, days late, to talk to Spartacus. Spartacus tries to get him to join Crixus as a leader, but Gannicus is a proper communist at heart and doesn’t wish to be set above others. He also points out that the Romans will keep coming, and wonders what Spartacus will do if he ever does lay waste to the Republic (love the correct use of Republic rather than Empire). He tries to point out that now that they have avenged their lost loves, there’s no more reason to fight. He also ‘fesses up about DSG’s wife and says it was DSG’s forgiveness that really mattered, much more than revenge, but Spartacus has no one left to offer him forgiveness, so he’s planning to end slavery and destroy Roman civilization instead. Gannicus gives him a look that says how likely that is, and heads back to the wine and the women.

We meet Crassus’ wife and younger son, and see that his wife is mildly jealous of a slave-girl who is presumably his mistress. The wife wants their son Tiberius to be given the title of tribune, which is weird, since tribunes were elected, had to be plebeian, it was a political position, not a military one, and as Crassus points out, Tiberius is far too young. Tiberius has a friend called Sabinus who promises to stay by his side, so he’s gonna die pretty soon I should think.

Spartacus goes wandering among his people to watch a training session and visit a black market dealer, because his following is now so huge and his rationing so intense that people are selling horse meat on the edge of the camp (possibly disguising it as beef burgers). The horse guy, whom I shall name Flash Harry after the black market dealer from St Trinian’s, complains about ‘King Spartacus’ and whines that he would rather be a slave again than live without a plan for how to clothe and feed everyone. He is a wee tad embarrassed when Crixus turns up yelling for Spartacus and gives away his customer’s identity, but luckily for him Spartacus is also a believer in freedom of speech, as well as the abolition of slavery and probably emancipation for all while we’re at it, because if you’re going to believe in one political ideal not held by anyone for another 1500 or more years, you might as well believe in them all.

Our heroes use Naevia as bait to ambush and kill Crassus’ messengers. Naevia’s fighting skills have come on in leaps and bounds, as she sends one guy’s head flying right off his shoulders. Seriously though, Crixus, put some clothes on. Naevia finds Crassus’ message, which luckily Spartacus can read. The message includes reference to the fact that the two randoms Crassus is supposed to be helping are holed up at a villa, so Spartacus decides to attack the villa and take off their heads while Number One provides a distraction with their main forces. Naevia is not wild about this plan, but Crixus distracts her with sex and praising her fighting ability. There are far too many happy couples (and foursomes) around, this can only end badly.

Tiberius whines because he can’t understand why his father thinks it might be a good idea to prepare to fight an ex-gladiator by training with an ex-gladiator. Tiberius insists that they are above slaves in every way so Crassus sets him against his ex-gladiator, which inevitably ends with Tiberius getting punched in the face (which is very satisfying).

One of the randoms says ‘the die has been cast’ while discussing their next move, which amuses me. They send off their soldiers to meet Number One’s distraction-army. Our heroes break into the villa, while back at Casa de Crassus, Tiberius is still whining and being comforted by a slave-girl who may or may not be the same one from earlier (probably is). Crassus is fed up of his gladiator-slave holding back, partly thanks to a chip on his shoulder about the Senate not giving him a proper command, so he decides to fight the guy to the death, promising him freedom if he wins (witnessed by Tiberius, though I wouldn’t trust that little toe-rag an inch). Their final fight is intercut with Spartacus’ attack on the villa. Crassus wins by grabbing the slave’s sword with both hands and jamming it into the guy, followed by a touching death scene in which Crassus promises him a monument, the slave says it was a honour to serve him, and Crassus says the honour was his. On Spartacus’ end, everything is a bit less honourable, as the randoms complain about him attacking like a thief or cutthroat and Spartacus beheads both of them, and watches their shortened torsos splash into a bathtub.

Crixus has grown a beard to keep himself warm, but why is he still not dressed properly?! Italy is not that hot...

Toga Guy brings the news to Crassus, and observes that his messenger went awfully close to the known location of the rebel encampment with the message telling him where the randoms were. Crassus now gets sole command and the title of imperator, and Toga Guy is not fooled for one second by Crassus’s insistence that he serves only the glory of Rome. Even whiny Tiberius isn’t completely daft and is quite impressed by the magnificent bastardy of the plan, wanting to know how Crassus knew that Spartacus would go after the randoms instead of running away from Crassus’ advancing army. Crassus replies ‘Because it is what I would have done.’

Spartacus has, in fact, decided to run away now to avoid facing hunger, cold and Crassus all at once, but he has ominously decided only a city will hold his army. His plan, therefore, is to take one from Rome, instead of sailing away to Britain or the desert or hiding in the Alps or really any other plan that would be more sensible than this one. End of episode.

One episode in, and I’m already enjoying this third season far more than any of the second. I think perhaps the decision to make this the final season was a wise one, as the plot is already moving forward even in this first episode, and we’re at last getting to the really interesting bit. Of course a big part of what interests me is Crassus – finally, we’ve got to a character who is not just a name from a brief history of battles with Spartacus, but a well-known and powerful figure for whom we have plenty of other evidence, who has a whole life story outside this one war.

I love the portrayal of Crassus here. Historically, Crassus was known for having only one vice, which was greed for money, and his wealth is clearly on display, as well as being the reason he gets the command in the first place. Crassus’ financial greed and simultaneous lack of other vices was so well known in his lifetime that he was apparently found not guilty of the capital charge of having sex with a Vestal Virgin (his cousin Licinia, who appeared in a rather different form in the show in Season 1 and probably isn’t going to make a return appearance, unless posthumously) because his claim that he was only hanging around her because he wanted to buy her villa at a knock-down price was completely convincing. This episode suggests that he’s having an affair with his slave-girl, but that wouldn’t be considered especially immoral for a Roman, and his lack of sexual deviancy is clearly demonstrated by the fact he doesn’t have a single sex scene in this episode (though he is shirtless almost the entire time). Having said all that, it’s pretty clear from his actions historically, especially his involvement in the First Triumvirate with Caesar and Pompey, that was also extremely politically ambitious, and that is clearly his motivation here.

Crassus’ respectful attitude towards slaves also fits reasonably well with his historical character. Crassus saw slaves as a valuable commodity that would bring greater profit if trained up and treated well, so it’s not a complete stretch to imagine him treating his slaves reasonably well and respecting their abilities. It also works brilliantly for the drama, as Crassus is clearly shown to be the man to bring Spartacus down, because he is the only Roman who doesn’t underestimate Spartacus and his army on the grounds that they are ex-slaves. He is also wonderfully set up as Spartacus’ equal and the sort of man Spartacus might have been if he’d been a Roman, knowing how to predict Spartacus’ moves because the two are so alike. That sets up a fantastic rivalry between the two, with Season 3 the story of how two equal forces come up against each other. It also helps that Crassus is the most likeable Roman we’ve seen so far, given that we know how the story ends.

Crassus was really the main interest of this episode, as the scenes with Spartacus and our heroes, beyond the conversation with Flash Harry, were mainly about reminding us where we are. Spartacus’ aimlessness now that his wife is dead and avenged is clear and seems to be translating itself into foolish ambition, which only Gannicus can see is going to take them on a road to nowhere. First, though, it’s time to take bets on which will be the first happy couple of meet a horrible end...

Crassus - too awesome for shirts. Or tunics.

A fantastic start to the final season. There’s only one thing still missing – next week, we get CAESAR!

*I use nicknames to refer to some of the characters in Spartacus, partly because it’s not always easy to catch their names, mostly because it amuses me. For new readers, or as a refresher, here are the main ones:
Number One = Agron, because he’s the Will Riker to Spartacus’ Captain Picard
The Artist = Nasir, short for The Artist Formerly Known as Tiberius
DSG = the late Oenomaus, stands for Drill Sergeant Guy


Roman soldier: Who is with you?
Naevia: Death

Crassus: The house of Crassus bows to no one

All Spartacus reviews

Friday, 8 February 2013

Xena Warrior Princess: The Prodigal

Gabrielle, suffering a crisis of confidence, rather abruptly abandons Xena to return home, only to discover that inevitably, her village has been attacked by a gang of generic, swarthy bad guys in her absence. The warrior hired to defend the village being about as sober as Denzel Washington's character in Flight (which was rather good by the way), Gabrielle and her sister are forced to take charge of the village's defences. Naturally, they succeed, Meleager the alcoholic warrior talks about his own crisis of confidence with Gabrielle and turns good in the end, and Gabrielle's sister encourages Gabrielle to go back to Xena and live the life of adventure again.

'Meleager' is an appropriate name for a character who admires Gabrielle as a female warrior. Mythologically, Meleager was the son of King Oeneus, one of a number of kings  lords and other characters who managed to annoy one of the gods, in this case bringing down the wrath of Artemis on himself by not bringing her enough offerings. Artemis sent the Calydonian Boar, a huge boar intended to destroy the countryside of Calydon, to punish him. Meleager led the hunt for the boar and eventually killed it, but dedicated the skin - the trophy from the hunt - to the female huntress and runner Atalanta, who in some versions had drawn first blood from the boar. Either way, Meleager being in love with her usually comes into it somewhere. Atalanta was a huntress rather than a warrior, and Xena's Meleager isn't in love with Gabrielle (so far as we can tell) but still, it's a nice choice of name, and appears to be a genuinely meaningful choice, which is more than can be said for some names on this show (the bad guy is called 'Damon,' which sounds neither ancient nor Greek to me, though I could be wrong, it could be a derivative of Damonides or something. But I don't think so).

As Gabrielle's sister Lila advises her to go back to Xena at the end of the episode, she says that Gabrielle's life will never be complete and she should live life, not let it pass her by. Gabrielle replies that she thought she was the only oracle in the family, and her sister says it doesn't take an oracle to realise the Gabrielle belongs with Xena. I can't decide whether this is an irritating misrepresentation of oracles or not (I suspect it is). Oracles answered questions or made predictions about the future. The could give advice in the sense that they could answer direct questions (e.g. 'Should I get married?') or they could predict things (e.g. 'If you go to war, you will destroy a great empire'). If Lila is predicting literally that Gabrielle will be 'incomplete' in some measurable way, that would be an oracle-like thing to say, or if Gabrielle asked her 'Should I go back to Xena?' and she said 'Yes,' that would be sort of like an oracle I suppose, but this sounds more like generic advice to me. An oracle is quite a specific thing, it's not a guidance counselor.

There are a few other Classical references scattered around - Gabrielle is (unconvincingly) playing pan pipes at the beginning, which was cheesy but sort of fun. She seems to be doing her best impression of the scary-cute fauns and satyrs from Fantasia: The Pastoral Symphony. Her home of Potidea on the other hand, aside from having completely different geography to the Greek version, looks like a medieval castle for some reason.

Generic bad guy Damon

There's a nice idea behind this episode, in which Gabrielle doubts some of the choices she's made and goes home, and sees how much she's changed in her time away. Unfortunately the execution is a little bit too hurried, and Gabrielle's sudden panic during a confrontation with some random bandits at the beginning feels very forced. Freezing up and being disturbed by that is fair enough - one of Buffy's best episodes ('Fool for Love') was kicked off by a similar plot, albeit with more 'getting horribly stabbed,' less 'freezing up' - but Gabrielle seems to have rather an extreme reaction to it, given what's already happened to her while travelling with Xena. Come to think of it, it would have been more believable if Gabrielle had been stabbed or broken an arm or something. After that, the action in her village follows a series of predictable beats, with little real depth, though her conversation with Meleager about freezing up is a good moment, and it's nice to see her connect with her sister. In the end, though, the most touching bit of emotion was probably the sad little wave Xena gave Gabrielle as she walked away right at the beginning.


Gabrielle, stalling the bad guys: ...And as for what we want, I think it was Sophocles who once said - (here she's abruptly cut off).

Disclaimer: Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Carousing Warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

All Xena: Warrior Princess reviews

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